The internet is a great place.
It is also the most horrible f'n place. It is a place in which cowards and bullies hide. They troll. They push you until you break. Today I hit my breaking point. Recently my AMAZING daughter has been featured all over the internet...because my Totter, my little bee is changing the world.
She and her peers spoke in front of the Portland Public School Board, they worked with the school board to change the dress code. And contrary to the belief of the TROLLS - it wasn't so that they could wear short skirts and whatever they wanted it. It was so that they wouldn't be SLUT SHAMED. If you have ever met my child you know that a SLUT is something she is not. She is 15. She is a delight. She is an A student, she is being featured heavily in her schools magazine because of her accomplishments in the classroom, at dance and as a human. She wants to make the world a better place for all women, for everyone,.
I sit here with so much anger and rage towards these people but I know that if I come at them with anything less than wishing them vision, love and light then I am no better than them. They have won. I will not let them win. I will let the real winners win. Those who fight for change. Those who make change in their community. Those who stand up for others.
What slays me is the ones who are attacking my daughters character. Shame on them. Shame, shame, shame. For those of you who are calling her names, who are saying that she will never hold down a job - at the end of the day she will be the one who people remember. Not you. She will have changed the world, because she flipped the script. She said I will not leave the classroom. I will not allow you to call me a slut, and to dehumanize me and my female peers because of the perception that young men are only capable of seeing girls as nothing more than a piece of ASS. She will be the one that your granddaughters look up to. She will be the one that they learn about in schools. She will be the one that makes sure that they get a fair and equal education. She will be the one that they want to be when they grow up. Not you. Not me. HER.
She is 15. She is a published author. She is the featured subject of an award winning publication. She is amazing. She is my daughter. I will fight to the death for her. Shame on you for questioning and insulting the character of a young lady that you have never met. Shame on you for insulting women, period. You are adults verbally attacking a girl. You are mean. You are a BULLY. I am thankful that you are not in my circle of friends.
I wish that I could say all the things that I want to say to you - but for me to hurl obscenities at you makes me no better than you.
I do know this much. My daughter is amazing. My daughter is kind. I am proud of her and all that she has and will accomplish in her life. She has done more in her 15 years than most of us do in our lifetimes. The opportunities for her are endless, and I shall forever open the door and usher her through. I am so angry as I write these words I could just spit. I could scream. I read the unkind things and I want to cry, because I see her beautiful smile, I hear her little laugh, I see the sparkle in her eyes and it would crush her to read your words. It would break her heart to know that people whom she has never met, have now decided that she won't be able to keep a job, that she won't amount to things. By the way as far as the job goes - I will be sure to let the dance studio that she works at assisting dance classes and the barn where she works at horse camp each summer of your very important opinion. I am sure they would value your thoughts on her. I will be sure to include them on her dance scholarship applications, as well. Sorry they can't rescind the one she got this summer - as your opinion hadn't been sent my way yet.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I just want to scream. But I know that it does me no good. I know that I need to walk away, maybe pour myself a glass of wine, take a hot bath and remove myself from the hideous world of the internet. I need to do these things before I lose my shit. For those of you who insulted my daughters character - I want to say mean things, I want to spit in your face, but I shall take the more civilized route and simply say I thumb my nose at thee. I truly wish you light and love. I am sorry that you find the need to be cruel and unkind to a special young lady whom you have never met. I am sorry that you hide behind your computer, I am sorry that you need to pick on people who are trying to make the world a better place. I hope that someday your world is better place. It must be hard to be mean and cruel, I cannot imagine what that feels like. I have my moments but I could never imagine, attacking the character of children.
In the words of Whitney Houston "I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride. Let the children's laughter remind us of how we used to be. Everybody's searching for a hero. People need someone to look up to."
I am proud of her. I am excited that she is standing up for what she believes in. I am proud that she stands up for what is right and fair. She will be a part of the change of our culture. She will make the world a better place. I know it.
I am thankful for the kind words that were shared with me through this same incredible journey. I need to hold those close and not let the meanies of the world hurt me so. All of my personal community was AMAZING, SUPPORTIVE, PROUD and INSPIRED and I thank you all for that. I thank you all for being a part of our fabric. For helping mold Totter into the wonderful young lady that she has become. She is better because of all of you. Thank you to the strangers who cheered her on. Thank you to the ones who were inspired, who were proud, who were grateful. You are all my heroes and a part of our universe created from love and light. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Now that I have said my words, it is time to relish in the pride and ignore the horrible folks. To forgive and move on. To spread light. To spread love. To be the change I wish to see in the world. This mama bear knows that she has a sleuth (that is the word for a group of bears - you're welcome for droppin' knowledge on you) of bears on her side. We are a tribe of warrior women and men. We will defend our loves and their dreams. You cannot take them from us with your words. You cannot shoot us down from behind your screen, you cannot take our pride.
Ok, that is enough of a rant. It is time for me to walk away and read. To find peace and forgiveness. And so I bid you all adieu. Goodnight my friends. xo