This is my kid. My Totter. My world. We are two peas in a little pod. She is the most amazing human I have ever met. Although I am her mother I feel as though I can take little credit for the person that she has become.
She is sweet, she is kind. Far sweeter and kinder than I am. She is like a sweet sweet piece of candy. I am little more like a sour candy, something that is sour to the taste but there is a little sweetness under - but you have to get through all the sour stuff first.
She is full of love, life and energy. She is my hero. She is the reason that I keep fighting the good fight. But one day not far from now she will spread her wings and fly.
Our story is not one that I tell on a regular basis as it is sad, but it is real. It is real like. Some of us grow up in a different place. I don't want you to think that my childhood was terrible because it wasn't. It was just different. It rocked my world in a way that kids don't think about their lives being rocked. I lost my dad at age 11. But I am not going to tell that story tonight. No one needs to know all that, not just yet.
Today I tell the story of this little bee. That is her name. Little Bee, Moo, Totter, Lou, my baby. I look at this face of hers staring back at me as I write these words. She hates this photo. She was 5. We were in Disneyworld. Spent the day swimming. As you might have guessed, based upon the teaser of our story and the title, I am a young mom. This little love became my world at age 18...when people tell me I am too young to have a 15 year old - I say yes I am. But truth be told I wouldn't trade a second of it for the world. I mean look at this face. How could you.
She is truly a gift. She forgets to let me know that she has arrived at school because she is helping a friend. That is who she is. She wants to help others, to save the world one hug at a time. She was the child that would hug EVERYONE that she met and they were her new best friend. That is the pigtailed girl to your right. She wants to know everything about you. She wants to make your life a better place, even if it is just by lending an ear.
She is a sensitive, special little soul. She is my heart. I cannot imagine a day without this stinky little person in my life. She came into my life when I needed her most, and she wouldn't have it any other way - and yet she wasn't even aware of it at the time.
She makes me a better person. She is the kind of person you want in your life. She is the kind of person that would give you her coat on the coldest rainiest of days and think nothing of it. She wanted to be a princess, a ballerina and an elephant washer. Now she wants to be dancer, a forensic anthropologist and a bio medical researcher. She can do it all.
She is the girl that wore a pink cowboy hat and boots EVERYWHERE that she went. She wore her Cinderella dress with a Home Depot apron. She wanted to ride horses always. She does with grace and power. She is so much more than I could ever hope to be. She is my reason why. She is my light. My love. My heart. She is the little girl who will get lost in her books and never leave her room. She is the little girl that will stand on the balcony in the sun and sing like the world is her stage and we are all merely players upon it. She is the girl who will stand up to the school board about their unfair dress code. She will work tirelessly so that all her peers have an equal experience in this world. She will fight always. I hope she never gives up.
Shte is my hero. She is a delight in this life, and my life is better for her. I look at her and I am truly astounded that this is my daughter. I am forever grateful for our community - they have helped me, rescued me, pushed me and been there for me the journey of us. But at the end of the day when we close our eyes and we leave this day behind for the next it is just us. Two peas in a pod.
She however is not so little any more, she talks about the colleges she wants to attend, she talks about the things she would like to do in high school. Where of course she gets amazing grades - and she seems to do so effortlessly. She is a wonderful student because she is a curious girl. She wants to learn it all. Take it all in. She wants to work on the magazine, she wants to be on student leadership, she wants to be on constitution team.
This beautiful girl will take the world by storm. She will be the storm, she will challenge, and explore what you least expect. She is little, she is small in stature but giant in personality, and curiosity. She is electric. She stands barely over 5 feet tall. I know not if she will be bigger than that. She has tiny yet elegant hands - far nicer than mine. Mine are rough and worn, hers are soft and beautiful. She is graceful and a total klutz. She is made of magic.
Some day not far from now, she will grow and she will lead her own life. I am thankful for the days and adventures we share. But I will look back and think to myself where has the time gone. As I did when I took the picture of the girl on the right. She is no longer the girl with the box on her head. She is the girl who went to prom as a freshman. As scared as I was about the dress she might have picked...she picked the sweetest dress she could find, it was her. It was pale pink lace, with a little sparkle. I know that although she is growing and changing each day - even in moments such as this she is still my baby. She is a stunning girl in every way. I couldn't ask for more.
"Tell me what it is to do with your one wild and precious life" - Mary Oliver
Oh Little Bee, I cannot wait to see what you become, what you do with this life. You can do anything and everything. I love you and I am more proud of you than you could every imagine. Do it all! See it all! Challenge it all! And most importantly Enjoy it! The world is yours!