make laughter not tears otherwise known as an Oregonian's series of unfortunate events...

Its weeks like this one that make me understand why Jesus turned water into wine...

Basically nothing has gone right. Pure comic fodder. You name it, it happened. Thus the reasoning behind make laughter not tears, or a series of unfortunate events. Le sigh. I wish that could pull a "Jesus" and turn water in to wine.

Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. When you begin you begin with A, B, C...or you simply start your weekend by not being able to move your head. Weekend progresses...head stays stuck. Sunday you play soccer...and a ball to the face. Just smacks ya so hard you have to shake out the cobwebs. And due to the condition of said stuck head, well one can only imagine the pain and cobwebs that accompanied the ball to the face. Being the good girl that I am or learning to be when it comes to my health - I followed my mother's advice (imagine how happy she will be if she reads this and sees in print that I have acknowledged her advice and said I listened to her.) I digress, so I go to the massage therapist and chiropractor for the next two days. Rubbed, pushed, pulled, popped. Slightly mending.

Last night I perceived myself to be nothing short of a miracle worker, I did my taxes, lowered my cable bill...because that is as cheap as SF rent. I started this bad boy, reapplied for my student loan repayment plan...because school aint cheap and I cooked a delicious dinner, I was on it.

Then came the flooding. Not of tears, literal flooding. Like kitchen sink leaking from the pipes and covering the floor in water faster than I can clean it up. It was as though the floor had an undiscovered slope and we were ready to go swimming. Of course Totter wants to help and goes to get the nice towels...which aren't so nice anymore because kid hands touched them...and apparently proactive bleaches things. This I was unware of when we began the puberty experiment...and paid the price in towels. So now you know what to get me for my birthday in two weeks. Stellar.

That leads us to where we sit now...well you there and me here on my couch writing away. Licking my proverbial wounds. Since I can now move my head at a more socially acceptable level I think today is going to be a good day. I even look pretty cute. The day starts great, then begins its slow trickle to its present state, but thanks to you reading my musings and letting me shed my tears in exchange for laughter, I am doing my damnedest to right this ship.

The day started its downward spiral with some personal bad news...that leads me to feel trampled on, downtrodden and is if I might be stuck forever. But rather than saying when life gives you lemons and "the glass is half empty" or "half full" I shall merely say there's room for vodka. Then I learn that I have adopted someone else’s SSN number on my taxes in exchange for my daughters on my taxes. Even though I had her card in hand as I was preparing them I blended hers/mine and took someone else’s.

Then there was the bathroom...oh the bathroom. Work bathrooms are always a precarious place. You never know how much privacy you might need or someone else who is utilizing it might need. It's not quite home, it's not quite public. It's the place one doesn't want to wash dishes or veggies that they have brought in their lunch. I may or may not eat carrots that I clean with water and a paper towel over the trash can in my office for this very reason. Our office doesn't have its own en suite bathroom so to speak. We share one with the entire 1st floor...but I suspect that the people on the 2nd floor use the first for certain functions and vis versa. So needless to say, I don't wash my veggies or dishes in there, it's just shitty. I was alone in my office, I had just received my less than savory news, had done my taxes wrong, eaten semi dirty carrots etc. and then I had to go to the bathroom. I entered as though it was regular trip to the restroom and that is exactly what I did. I slid on the floor, rolled my ankle, made a weird grunt much to the chagrin of the woman in the first stall - who I think was from the 2nd floor if you know what I mean. So there I was on my hands and knees at her feet trying not to cry and pee my pants. I picked myself up, hobbled in to the adjacent stall, and sat there. Not sure how long I was there...well I waited until my lovely neighbor had walked out the door and not fallen.

Post potty...had some more disheartening conversations and left work later than normal as I was simply engrossed in a project and trying to ignore the "potty pain." All the way home I cried. Cried about the day. What should have been. What could have been. And all that jazz...thought about the traffic. Threw myself a big grand pity party. Then in traffic, there was a man stopped on the Marquam bridge. For those of you who know Portland, and who drive that bridge at rush hour know that it is a less than ideal place to have your car break down. I cussed about people cutting me off and getting over in what I deemed an "unnecessary" spot for them to do so...then I got the slap in the face I deserved. They were all getting over for a reason. The gentleman whose car was not working. They were avoiding hitting him as one should.

In retrospect I can see the error of my pisspants ways however then I just cried more felt more sorry for myself. I should have felt for him, exercised my compassion. Yet, I had none. I only had tears of pity for myself. Now as I sit here in the warmth and comfort of my place, with food, the tv making noise in the background, writing these meaningless/meaningful words I have to take a moment and think about my blessings. I am alive, I am healthy minus the head that doesn't move, yeah I fell in the bathroom at work and although it was embarrassing I have a job, I have a career, I have the opportunity to make a difference in the world. I started writing this to make myself laugh, to "turn my frown upside down" and trying to make a lemon drop from my weeks lemons, but it has turned into so much more. It has turned into a lesson in humility. In seeing that even on the days/weeks that go shitty, when you fall down, that there are always worse places you could be. Thank you to whomever reads this for laughing with me and giving me the opportunity to count my blessing and be thankful for my Totter, for my career, for my life, for my everything. Sure today wasn't a great day, it hasn't been a great week, but that is the beauty of life, the chance to wake up tomorrow and start anew. Each day is what we make of it...and hell even if tomorrow isn't much better I am on the downhill slide to the weekend. My Totter is dancing in her first company dance show, I am celebrating the birth of a dear friend with wine, I am playing in two soccer games...life is ok. It's not always great, but it is not always terrible either. It is an adventure, a journey and what we make of it. And hell there's always wine!

#lifetypestuff #musings